Where to start, from someone who sees a recent trend in individual
behavior as increasingly self-absorbed and dwelling on real and imaginary
health problems, and as a proponent of the ‘mind your own business’ school of
social discourse? But it is unavoidable,
these discussions of medical and emotional problems. Maybe we should not ever greet anyone with ‘How
are you?’ But that will not stop the inevitable
flow of the narrative of doctor visits, recurring problems, potential procedures,
and of course medications.
Friends and family and acquaintances are at the very least
swept up in discussions of all things medical.
The world, and the bodies of these adults and of course their children
and parents, cannot be degenerating at such a rapid rate that that is all there
is to talk about. At the usual risk of
offending everyone, there is clear behavior in excess here. The fixation so many have with health issues
all the time such that it fills or dominates conversations is really IMHOP
boring. But what do you do?
The Guy Manual, if ever written, should be a guide to
behavior reacting or even anticipating things we do not normally anticipate. There is no chapter in the Guy Manual on what
to do when all those around you seem to have drifted into a hypochondriac fog.
Often they are unavoidable, since family members are often caught up in the
medical morass(es) that fill everyday life. Frankly, we want to be sympathetic
out of courtesy, but we do not care about their aches and pains, or syndromes,
or medical agenda that make doctors and pharmacopeia on the top of mind. We really do believe that a) it is none of
our business; or b) it is really boring; or even c) there is a deep seeded
psychological problem behind it all.
Clever guidance would be a way to avoid the conversations,
or those who insist on pivoting each and every conversation towards health
issues -- often difficult. Crude guidance (for those of us with few if any
social skills) would be to preempt conversations with rules – ‘I do not want to
discuss health and medical issues in any way’ may well be off-putting to
exactly those we wish to put off. Redirection to another topic may well work
for those who can take a hint, but simply changing the topic of conversation
several times will not stop those fixated on things medical.
A couched offensive approach currently has my favor. Each time they insist on pivoting the conversation
to their favorite health topic ask them a foundational question. So for example if they begin a litany of
things they cannot eat you inquire if they are familiar with orthorexia. If they constantly talk about doctor’s visits
ask them if they have read about somatoform disorder[4]
. If they talk about the disease du jour
ask them if they know about the Internists study Choosing Wisely .
If, inevitably, they talk about all manner of medications ask them if
they have studied ‘polypharmacy’. At the end of the day there really are better
things to talk about. It sure beats
simply calling them boring hypochondriacs (maybe). At the end of the day you
can always just walk……
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